yes, me too. I was always second to alcohol. So were the kids, unfortunately. I never gave him an ultimatum because I knew I wouldn't win. I did, eventually move out and eventually delivered the ultimatum but by then it was "stop drinking or take your wedding ring off" I just couldn't bear to see him with that ring on his finger anymore. He chose alcohol over the marriage. He refused to take the ring off. He maintained it was his ring and he could wear it if he wanted. It was ridiculous, he was already seeing (drinking with) another woman by then. He seemed to think he could have it all, the girlfriend, the marriage, the drink.
It seemed like I'd asked him to stop breathing, it all seemed so utterly unreasonable to him. Obviously, my sobriety was the problem. That is what wrecked the marriage.
I choose now to put myself first. I was always looking for things from him that he could not give me. He was not able to. I give those things to myself now. Learning to love yourself is hard but in the end you won't need to look to other people to provide the things you need.