Milano:
Awesome post, especially, no new contact = no new pain.
I am in a place today where I just miss my EXAW. Was cleaning out the freezer this am (Garbage Day) and I found a bunch of frozen things, now covered in ice, that she made when she was still at home. My head kinda started spinning as I was imagining her in the kitchen. I am feeling the loss of those moments...the life I wanted to have. So, your words about what you WANT for yourself ring very true for me.