Several of you point out what made this so difficult for me to continue. I knew watching her with that guy, that she must always be like that when out drinking and I'm not there. She considers it not cheating because she's not having sex or making out with anyone. I personally consider being that affectionate with other people completely inappropriate.
She thinks that bothers me because of some kind of pride and ego thing. Or I'm not as affectionate as she would like so I shouldn't care if she touches other people. They will use any kind of justification to normalize hurtful behavior. That is just simply not a way you ever act around someone you're committed to and care about. No matter how bad things got with her, I never put her in uncomfortable situations like that. I always respected her.
She did call me last night. I was asleep and answered. She blamed absolutely everything on me. She refused to consider that her drinking had anything to do with the deterioration of our relationship. She just kept saying that I had this impossible standard and that anything short of it was unacceptable to me. I don't consider not wanting my girlfriend to get sloppy drunk and handsy with other people, "an impossible standard."
It's horribly difficult to not try to jump back in with her. There are so many things I appreciate about her. But I have to keep reminding myself that these incidents will never stop. And no matter how bad she ever gets, it will somehow be my fault. She will get drunk and curse me off then actually get mad at me for letting her know that it hurts me. That sounds like the more impossible standard to live up to.