Originally Posted by jjwinters
If she even recognized it as a problem, I would probably still be with her. She just expected me to submit and not even get upset by anything she does. It's an impossible standard to live by.
This is what stands out to me, JJ. I'm so sorry you're in pain. All of us are here because we love someone who has a problem. Most active alcoholics and addicts aren't evil incarnate, they are just people who use alcohol and/or drugs in order to not feel, relieve stress, mask insecurity, etc. Some get to a point that they 'have' to drink alcohol to function on even a basic level.
We can only decide how much we can tolerate. Personally, I can't tolerate being disrespected. I can't tolerate having a front-row seat on someone else's self-destruction--that is what is too painful for me. That is usually when those of us on this side back away--when the pain of staying is greater than the pain of leaving.
Hang in there, jj! Brighter days are ahead!