Thank you all for your input. I do see what you mean. I try not to ask questions about what he is doing, but I do believe that if he were getting counseling, he would tell me. Not because I asked, but because he would be proud of himself for taking a step in the right direction.

Today he got upset with me because I didn’t say “I love you too”. In reality, I did, he just didn’t hear me because we were getting cranky kids into my car. But that really got me thinking about his expectations. I told him in no uncertain terms that I had no timeline for my feelings or trust. We would need relationship counseling, but at the moment he should focus on his own counseling. I guess he’s still in denial about the kind of help he needs, or wallowing in self pity and wondering why I can’t trust him.