Would you drink if you weren't alcoholic?
Looking back, I never felt better the next day for having taken a drink. Even on the rare occasion where I truly only had 1 or 2, I could tell the difference in my sleep and how I felt in the morning, even if it was just waking up one additional time or not getting up quite as quickly or not being hungry for breakfast.
And what did those 1 or 2 really do for me in the moment I was drinking them? As I was cleaning up the yard today (which is something I always "planned" to do when I drank), working at a peaceful pace, enjoying the weather, appreciating things were beginning to look nicer, even if it was just me and God looking at them, I realized this was one of my prime drinking moments. And becoming aware of the present, the Now, I thought, ok, maybe a 1 or 2 drink buzz would be "fun", but it wouldn't necessarily be "better." I wasn't miserable. I was enjoying the work as a combination chore/contemplation/exercise. It didn't need to be more fun. It was good that it was a little boring. It helped me watch my thoughts and seek to toss out the junk.
And I thought, if I could drink like a normal person, I still wouldn't want to. It really doesn't add anything to life. It just changes the way we view the situation. I'm not criticizing normal folks who drink with control, and I can't guarantee that if the "controlled drinking genie" appeared to me tomorrow and offered me to drink like normal that I'd refuse, but at the moment I wouldn't even want one if I could.
Thought I'd share. Anyone else look at it this way? Or not? Seemed like it might spur some interesting discussion.