I think, Milano, that if it is possible to do so (difficult when you are co-parenting,) that you should treat his stupid communications as so much noise. As others have said, try to gray rock, neutral face and manner, don’t engage or JADE.
That will drive him absolutely batcrap crazy.
It’s tough to do when we are just so angry.
I found Al-Anon helped me with anger and resentments. So did journaling.
But what REALLY helped, tbh, was living 350 miles away from the addict in my life.
Alas, that is no longer the case. I moved back to my home state to help with aged parents, and I see my alcohol addicted sib almost every day, as he lives with my mother.
I engage with him as little as possible, and keep my wellness visits to mom short.
Otherwise, I know I will get into it with him, as I am just so angry at his worthless self.
I wish humans came with an anger tap that we could turn on and drain every day. I think that if anger had a color and texture it would be oily and black.
It sticks to us.