Originally Posted by
NewDayNewMe 
Hi All,
I'm hoping today is the first day of the rest of my new life.
I've been a heavy drinker since my early 20s and I'm now 51. I've always denied being an alcoholic as I thought I could control my drinking, and up to a point I could - I was able to do a 'dry January' a couple of years ago, but that's not the case any more. The last few months I have started to get withdrawal symptoms, shakes etc. which meant I needed to start drinking earlier in the day.
Up until lately I worked from home, so it was easy to keep my habit a secret from work colleagues, but now I have to go into the office and it has been hard to control the shakes and looking hungover.
I've managed to keep my drinking problem secret from my friends and family, apart from my wife, who is very supportive and is going to help me quit. We had planned on me quitting in a few weeks when I could take some time off work and she could be around to support me, but it was just getting too much. I suffer from anxiety and have been on medication for over 10 years and it just came to a head yesterday - I couldn't go on like this any more. So I told work I had family issues and decided to quit from today. I have an addicted personality - I have been addicted to gambling, slot machines and smoking in the past and managed to stop all that with will power alone.
I'm not sure will power will be enough this time, but I'll try. I'm not religious, so I'm not sure AA is for me. I've seen there is a SMARTS scheme fairly local so I might give that a try.
I was in hospital last December and wasn't able to drink for over a week, I had shakes and spasms for a few days but was OK, so I think I'll be OK without any medical treatment.
Anyway, that's me. Please wish me luck and any advice for coping with withdrawal and staying sober would be great.
Thanks,
Andy.
Congrats on deciding to choose a better life. You don't have to be religious to overcome addiction. There are many sober atheists.
In my opinion, one can never stop their additive behavior until they understand the cause. Addictive behavior is a symptom of something else that is wrong in our life. Addicts don't chase feelings; they escape their feelings. If you are an alcoholic, you escape how you feel with a quick fix or mood changer of alcohol.
All addictions serve an emotional purpose and that purpose is to regain control of our feelings. The antidote is to be curious, discover what circumstances in life make us feel, helpless, powerless, trapped and lacking control. Understand that we have learned to attempt to regain control of our feelings with mood changing chemicals. You don't get addicted to a substance or behavior unless you have learned it does something for you. (Trigger-Behavior-Reward-Repeat)
Consider new ways, more healthy ways to regain control of our emotions, our feelings. Escape the trap of feeling helpless with more healthy
high value behaviors that empower us and help us regain control. Of course, this is easier said than done but it all starts with motivation, purpose and values.
When I look back on my 47 years of chemical abuse, I realize that I had lost my purpose and values in life. My purpose and values were centered solely around getting high, escaping my feelings.
To be the right person you must think, feel and behave congruent with your deepest values. If you don't have values and purpose in life find them. If you lost them, find them again.
Where attention goes, neurofiring flows and neuroconnection grows. Grow close to God and He will
grow close to you. James 4:6
You just might find yourself a
New Creation. 2 Corinthians 5:17.