biminiblue, I promise I am never touching it again, no way, I can’t ever go through this again I can’t believe how terrifying it has been and currently is.

Since like the the last month is where it really has started to take a toll on me, I would be shaking all day long until I had a drink. But the truth is that even when I had my drinks the anxiety wasn’t even going away like it used to - tolerance ?

You can’t see me shake except for when I have an attack, you see it in my hands and I can’t sit still, sweaty palms, cry my eyes out, whole body feels weightless and like a leaf, and every time it happens I am positive I will die, I honestly have no idea how I am still alive.

It’s no ordinary anxiety, this is off the scale anxiety I can’t believe it, I am sorry but I would rather be electricuted, I honestly would.

All i can do is pray it is normal and that it fades sometime, I have had all blood tests done at hospital, nothing flagged up, nothing wrong with heart.

I could possibly get to a meeting but honestly I feel I can’t do a single thing at the moment with how bad the anxiety is.

Will never drink again.