Originally Posted by amy55
I didn't know what abuse was. I didn't use a computer until 1999. I thought everything was all my fault, because all my life, I was told everything was my fault. I didn't know the signs to look for.
I do want to thank everyone for their stories so that others can read this and perhaps see themselves in the same situation and realize what abuse is.
It out starts out slowly. You can be really happy and then something that is degrading is whispered in your ear. It can be something like, you know every guy here is looking at you, why do you have to look like a sl.., to the only reason men talk to you is because they want to sleep with you.
I guess I just think people, newcomers need to hear about emotional abuse. I did develop PTSD because I was always trying to find ways to fix myself, and also ways to not bring on the rage.
Do you like memoires? I just read this book, “Yearnings For Nothings & Nobodies” by Jennifer Briggs, written from her point of view, starting around age 11 in the late 80s -90s. Her mother was an addict, unstable and unavailable, and her father wasn’t really with it and not able to meet her needs either. She pretty much flailed along, her life path sort of getting derailed since she had no direction or guidance. Lots of bad relationships/ obsessing on unavailable guys through her teenage -20s years . Her first exposure to any kind of a healing or self awareness type mindsets was Oprah’s show in the 90s, when she was focusing episodes on the self and spirituality. She just never had anyone expose to her to anything like that before.
I related to her story in some ways. Although my parents weren’t alcoholics or addicts, they was emotionally & physically abusive, lacked parenting skills, and neglectful. Also, like the author, I am also of the GenX generation, where a lot of us just didn’t have adult guidance & in many ways, raised ourselves. At least that’s how it was for me & those in my friend group.
I do have long term friendships from that time period, but I remember having all sorts of attachment issues and not letting myself getting attached or too close to “nice” guys who were interested in me back then. Although h I did have a few decent boyfriends in my youth, I also had a couple of just bad relationships. Looking back, I can’t beleive I let myself get treated badly by anyone, but it was what I knew, and at the time & I didn’t realize I didn’t have to take that kind of thing from anyone. .I just didn’t know any better.
Anyways, I did relate to some of what that author experienced emotionally. Luckily I had some exposure to 12 step in my early 20s, and a friend a few years later that introduced me to the world of therapy/ healing type things, so I didn’t get totally derailed. But I do understand what it’s like to not get tools for recovery until a little later in life.
That was a great book, though- sad, but you know it just came from a place of raw truth. If you get a chance to read it, I recommend it.