If you can manage the night sweating, the strange random itchings.... Then you can savour the sleepless early hours revisiting of every **** thing you have ever done or said , a pitliless examination of your personal failures. Perhaps, just before dawn, just before you drop off of a couple of hours of shallow dozing, you might wonder what your funeral will be like.
Not many there, really. You failed at loving anyone because it was more fun to drink solvent.