Hummingbird...I too want to make sure I am not negating your right to be A.N.G.R.Y about all of this! I would be livid and would have a very hard time not letting him know it. I also know beneath anger is hurt, anxiety, fears, all sorts of other emotions that you have every right to feel and be heard on.
I know in my experience it has been more helpful to express those actual emotions in a controlled environment when I am calm. That is just me though. Once I realized it did not good to do so, I simply...stopped.
Big hugs friend. Big huge hugs.