LifeChange….don't spend too much time flagellating yourself....
Who among us have not ignored others when we were mired, knee-deep in our own personal needs (for whatever reason)…..
Thankfully, you have moved on to a place where you are much more aware and have much more insight.....you have grown....
I don't have an example of my own that is as extreme as yours.....but, I have had to reconnect to old friends and family after a long absence.....
I think that doing a bit of penance is far better than doing a bunch of personal flagellation.....
My style of penance is to write a letter, in a beautiful card....and thank them for being such a good friend and tell them what they mean to you....You might mention, briefly, they you have moved on from that place in your life....
You might give your phone number and email address and let t hem know that you would love to hear their voice, again...
True, some of them may have just moved far along....but, I don't think all of them will have....If they loved you then, they will still love you....
At least, you will have put your cards on the table, and thanked them....and, just doing that , I think, will give you some peace....
***"Writing" is an old form of communication that us fossils engaged in....with the use of quill and ink or pencil...on a paper product....and , send by a mail carrier service. That has. largely. been abandoned by the much more impersonal email or text.....If you would like more information on this, you can google it.....