If you were blacked out and can only remember bits and pieces and they were horrible, imagine of you knew all that you did. I'm thankful and you should be thankful too that your friends haven't told you what you've said and done. If you knew, it wiuld tear you to peices. There's only one thing to do to stop all the madness, stop drinking. Your lucky you haven't gotten to the stage of hospital visits yet. You will if you keep drinking. Save yourself bad heartache, more blackouts, hospital stays and stop drinking darling. Or at least start to ween down and start ur recovery please