Towards the end I was just a maintenance drinker so I always remembered everything but I used to black out all the of the time when I was younger.
That feeling of absolute dread waking up in bed and not remembering anything from the night before, discovering you have a million messages on your phone or even worse it's missing, the anxiety and panic setting in, people being weird with you the next day and wondering what you did to offend them.
Blackouts scare me so much.. the fact you can still be fully functioning to where your body is moving, you can speak and walk around but your brain has effectively gone to sleep is terrifying!