I'd say - again - that what people say at memorials is more about them, in my opinion.
First they want to be seen as kind and caring people and culturally it isn't acceptable to say nothing to the family, or to talk ill of the dead. Most of them probably barely knew him. Infuriating, I know
Second, they are saying what they needed to hear someone tell them, or what they hope to hear when their own fathers die/died. We don't get scripts for this stuff. It's awkward.
I'm sorry for you and your daughter. More hugs.