Hi LadyD
I too have felt the need or responsibility to fix someone else. I felt I must save my XAB because I thought if I did he would turn into the man I want him to be which is just the good side. Believe me the good side was like a fantasy come true that is why I fought so hard. Not nearly as long as you but looking back now each minute when he was raging felt like a year. We cannot fix anyone. I am understanding that better which is helping the hurt subside. Stay strong, reach out to those who care including us on this forum.