You know, that had never occurred to me - that ex hated himself and projected it onto me. Like a lot of alcoholics he had boundary issues, especially with his attachment objects (e.g. his wives). Given that he had trouble distinguishing between himself and other people, hatred and rage directed at other people (me) could actually have been an expression of hating himself. In which case "rest in peace" takes on a whole new dimension of meaning. Wherever ex is now (and it's possible that he's nowhere) I hope he doesn't hate himself that much any more.