I third that, Sasha.
Everything I’ve seen you wrote about him practically screamed self hatred.
But he sure projected that on you, and you never deserved it.
I’m still sorry for what happened, but glad for your freedom.
You’ll continue to have a lot of complicated feelings. They’re all valid. And you’re definitely “allowed” to feel relief.
You deserve happiness and kindness. Thoughts continue to be with you and kid.