I pretty much was raising myself, with the exception of some stints at my grandparents when I was sent away for the summertime, for my formative years. I had pretty much two emotional responses, fear and momentary times of happiness when things were not a state of fear. Nothing really in between there for me to grow upon.
I resented my parents a lot. I still don't have a really close bond with anyone in my family, just a couple of close friends who are separated by geography. It can be a lonely place, but I grew up lonely and am accustomed to it.
I'm not so afraid anymore, now that I have come to grips with being an addicted person, and that started at a young age for me as a coping thing that grew into full-blown alcoholism.
I'm happy that I have some sobriety under my belt now to let me lead a more normal existence, but I'm still working out my thoughts on relationships.