I have never really known who I am. Probably why I never cared about the job I had or the relationship I was in. Didn't know what was was always missing: emotional connection. I guess I was just mimicking what I thought was how I should behave. Nothing ever felt right. I am basically a blank slate now that I realize what the issue is. Unfortunately, I am unemployed, broke, and don't have the resources for therapy. My father has been supporting me financially and paid for therapy a few years ago but I was still drinking and I had no clue what was going on with me. I couldn't be honest with my therapist. I just didn't know how to get in touch with my emotions.