I don't blame my parents. They were seemingly caring and well-intentioned but they just didn't know how to provide for the emotional needs of a child. I am quite certain they both had also suffered from emotional neglect. My father certainly did. His father died when he was a child and he was sent off to boarding school. He never knew how to be a father.
My mother was also emotionally distant. She was an alcoholic for 30 years. In denial the whole time. I never really got a feel for who she was as a person. Very closed off. All we ever talked about on the phone was trivial stuff like the weather or something.
It was like my entire family were just masquerading as 'loving' family. I may be the only one so far to have realized the true emptiness that always existed in our household