Same thing here
I always knew something was wrong, but I never knew what. In my 50's I began to read psychology books and related my growing up to CPTSD. That is complex post traumatic stress. Too long a story to go into here, but I also used alcohol as a coping mechanism. At 17 I was introduced to beer and weed and it made things so much better and easier to deal with my home situation. It also became a life long problem. Some things I resolved myself, others time did it for me. So I can't say there was ever a clear path. Things that happen to you growing up can have a life long effect in my experience. How do you improve when you don't know what is wrong with yourself? If you are struggling, professional help is a huge benefit in my view.