It's hard, it's really hard to do. You remember so many good times and you want to go back there. There is no turning back. Who he is now, is who he is, you stay longer, it only gets worse. You see, it's like they raise their bar as to how much you can take, they feel they are losing you, they will be nice for awhile, then they will escalate it because what they did before wasn't keeping you. All the while, you are lowering your bar and you are accepting more and more of abusiveness. It becomes what you use to think was abusive is no longer abusive. It's something that you just became use to.
So you get use to this, and they need to control you more. It's little by little. You get afraid to do some of the things that you like, because he doesn't approve of you going out. You get afraid to spend money on clothes or really anything at all.
You spend a lot of time trying to figure out what to say and how to say it so that he will not get upset.
This was my life, do you want it to be yours?
((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))
amy