Originally Posted by Ghostlight1

Wow, your story sounds just like mine.
I tried to quit for ten years, too. I was functional enough to work once in awhile, to pay the rent and bills. Didn't have to worry too much about food as I seldom ate while on another binge.
It did take me a full ten years to quit and it took help. I used AA. I don't know if you're open tot that or not, but it saved my life.

It's been over ten years now since I've had a drink of alcohol.
You can do it, too. Put as much energy as you do into acquiring, drinking and recovering from alcohol and you almost can't go wrong.
Best to you. And sobriety is possible with an open mind and wanting to quit more than you want to drink.