I'm sorry you feel bad, but you're not alone. The same thing happened to me a thousand {literally** times before I got sober. No need to apologize. I certainly understand.
The only way I know how to make it through the cravings is to not give in. Sounds simple, right? If you only knew how many times I failed.
I tried to quit drinking for ten years. Yes, ten years. Of trying.
I found AA and that and prayer were the things that finally have given me a daily reprieve from alcohol. It's been over ten years since I had a drink, and I drank for thirty five years. Yes, I started young.
You're not stupid. And the only one you really have to answer to is yourself.
And don't be too hard on yourself. I know I used to bang my head wondering how it could have happened again.
You're not alone, my friend. I'm here right with you. I understand.
Just pick yourself up and start again. And don't give up trying. That's one thing I never did in those ten years, give up trying. If I had, things would have turned out worse than they did. And I hit a pretty low bottom.
Best to you, and if you're willing to go to any length possible to get sober, you can't go wrong.