I’m feeling sad today after time with my brother in law today.

The quick backstory: my BIL’s wife has terminal cancer. Treatment isn’t working. The type of cancer she has is rare and there is a 5% survival rate. She’s almost a year post diagnosis and the cancer has spread.

She he has chosen to deal with her illness by not telling most people. Only some family members know. None of her friends know. My husband and I know but are not supposed to know the details - my BIL secretly shares the details with us. She would not be pleased if she was aware of this.

My BIL is cracking under all the stress and pressure of his wife dying, him having to keep it a secret from everyone, and having zero outlet/support system in place.

I’m sad because today he came over, sobbing, and just needing a place to vent. He chose to speak to my husband as he feels more comfortable sharing with him. He also chose to drink an obscene amount to “deal” while over. He ended up calling his wife, who became (rightly) concerned about him. He ended up requiring a ride home.

My husband is an alcoholic, as is his family, so this is what they know and how they solve their problems. I know I can’t fix that. But it made me so sad. While he was over , I wished I could share my sobriety with him at that time. I wished I could show him the way.

I feel like I am bearing witness to his demise. His wife most likely will not make it and I’m scared and sad for both of them, but I feel like after she passes he will drink himself to death.

I know I can’t fix this. I know I can’t solve this. It’s just heartbreaking from all angles.