Still suffering and could use a little help.
Good afternoon, been on a few times before and was told I had to quit by my GI doctor because of Celiac, Esophagitis, etc.
Wanted to get out this chain of events and see if anyone can give their opinion on where I should turn next.
A little background
- I have Celiac (8 years) but it’s silent Celiac so even if I do eat Gluten I don’t have the reactions that a “normal Celiac person would have.
- I would consider myself a moderate to heavy drinker. 3 OZ of hard liquor and 2 or 3 glasses of wine when I drink which was about 4-5x a week (maybe more sometimes but this is average).
- I do have some health anxiety which can be pretty bad at times and I think it is also some kind of depression (I’m pretty sure). The reason I’m sure is that I can be a real ***** when I’m not drinking something, like a whole other person.
So moving on here’s where I’m currently at and I want to be totally honest.
I’ve known for some time that I need to quit booze altogether but as most of us know here, knowing that and doing that are heaven and hell.
So starting about 4 or 5 months ago, things were pretty well (I was drinking and having fun with the family) but then I had some tenseness in my chest for apparently now reason.
Went to a walk in clinic where they did chest Xrays and told me that there is nothing mechanically wrong with me but the MD thought it was stress and that I should take some anti depressant. I said OK and was 80% satisfied with her answer.
2 weeks later had my yearly physical (blood work, etc.). The doctor said blood work was an “A” and cholesterol was a “B” which I’m fine with. I explained the tightness in my chest and he said to see a cardiologist for a stress test, etc.
1 week later, had a stress test and EKG which turned out fine. I asked the MD about stress/depression, etc. and she said that yes, it could lead to tightness but I still wasn’t satisfied.
I then said I’ve had enough and went to my GI who has done colonoscopies for me and the original endoscopy which found Celiac. I went in and he said you have acid reflux (GERD) but I didn’t have the burning that goes with it, just tightness in my mid chest. He told me that I needed another endoscopy to see where I’m at for damage, etc. I googled everything from Barrett Esophagus to esophageal cancer for days and know everything about it without being a GI.
Had the endoscopy and on naked eye, everything looked OK but the dreaded labs came back with esophagitis which he’s sees 20x a day. Was told to lay off caffeine, booze, spicy foods, tomatoes, chocolate, pretty much anything I liked and this is in addition to the Celiac so it’s a real bummer.
At the annual physical I also told my PCP that I’ve had this pain in my side right below my rib cage on the right hand side. During the exam he did the usual belly kneed and said he didn’t feel anything out of the ordinary but “to put your mind at ease” I’m going to give you a script for an ultrasound which leads me to here and the honesty part.
So last week I turned 51 on Memorial Day and from Friday afternoon until Wednesday around 2 PM, I pretty much drank. Not crazy (most of the time) but I drank, period.
I didn’t care about work, barely about family, etc. I just drank to get this stupid pain in my right side to stop or have me forget about it as I couldn’t get over the fact that it was liver cancer, pancreatic, gall bladder or who knows what. Drinking just took that feeling in my head away but not the pain.
Needless to say, Wednesday morning was not a pretty site. I was throwing up in the yard and everything else and now had to face this pain head on. So I scheduled the ultrasound and it happened on Thursday morning. I asked the tech how it looked and she said she couldn’t say anything about it by rules of the MD and of course my MD is now on vacation until next week so I haven’t heard the results.
To end this long rant (sorry), I haven’t had a drink since Wednesday afternoon and just hit 3 days w/o it and I don’t feel all that great but physically don’t want to drink at all.
Did some stuff with friends this morning but didn’t say much at all and just left afterwards.
So here’s my questions/call for help if you will.
1) Depression/Health Anxiety- They must be tied at the hip as I have no motivation to do anything other than sit in front of the TV and be a zombie. Could have done a thousand things with the kids today but w/o booze, they’re not “fun” for me (horrible father!).
2) I feel that if I just keep not drinking that slowly this feeling of worthlessness may go away or when/if the MD calls with my results on Monday (when he’s back) and tells me that everything is OK than I’ll snap out of this, just not sure.
3) I like waking up to a clear head but 10 seconds after I’m awake, this pain is there and I don’t what the hell it is so I start to worry, all day just about every minute. Pretty bad existence.
Not sure what else I can say at this point. Sad to say that I’m going to bed early just to get the day over with and don’t make any plans to do anything at all. Not sure whether to see a psych, stop drinking and see if this goes away or maybe both.