So, your thought is that I have to leave?
it IS an option.
so is staying and continuing to be at the target end of his hostility and abuse. that means you and the kids. they don't really have any choice. you seem unwilling to make any changes. you come here and ask for advice, opinions, suggestions, but have shot down each and every one. you can't do this because.....you can't do that because.....or you know all about X and it doesn't work.............so what DO you want? as a psychologist what might you recommend to a patient?