Don;t do what I did and confuse abstinence for control.
They are not the same thing.
I haven't had a drink in 12 years yet I know if I took one today I'd pretty soon end up back where I was or worse.
My relationship with alcohol was always toxic. It's always going to be.
I really hope you can find acceptance in being a life long non drinker zoos.
I've learned so much about myself and the way I want to live my life sober in peace and happiness.
I could never have made those discoveries drinking.
D