I've been doing this a while. And I can tell you, with total honesty, I have never seen an addict moderate. Ever. And I swear I have interfaced with 100's. In all kinds of settings. Maybe there are people out there that can. But I have never met one. I 'moderated' for a year once. 14 years ago. By moderate I mean nothing bad happened...I find my tolerance for awful is pretty high.
If you are an alcoholic, you can't moderate. Sometimes we have to learn from the literally thousands of stories you can read on line. Why can you? When no one else can....just saying. Why do you think you'll beat the odds? I mean, for real, why? If you wanna just drink cause you just wanna, I guess that's different. But know, you'll be back. Not sure how long it will take. And sometimes the addiction comes back mad as hell.
Is a buzz worth it?