Had a bit of a revelation
I was hit with some bad news on Friday and it sent me into a tailspin (mentally). I don't handle rejection well, never have.
Anyway, when things like this happen to me I start flipping through the pages of my brain doing some self analysis and what not. And the strangest thing occurred. I got onto the thoughts of my drinking habits when I was drinking. It dawned on me how completely abnormal and out of bounds my drinking actually was.
Thursday: Get good and drunk before bedtime.
Friday: Rush to get done with work by noon and drink into the night.
Saturday, hid booze in the morning to stave off nausea and shakes.
Sunday: repeat the same bad behavior
Monday: Unproductive and sick
Tuesday: Fairly unproductive, feeling a bit better
Wednesday: Normal day
Thursday: Jump right back into the soup.
I went through this mad ritual every week for probably 4 years and for 2 of those years I was determined to quit, and couldn't/didn't.
I guess my point is that I'm going through some crap right now, but its much easier and quite frankly less stressful (even though its plenty stressful) than if I was binging every week. In hindsight it was very abnormal, yet I played it down constantly.
By comparison, we had my "boss" the owner of the real estate brokerage over Saturday night. Her and my wife visited for 5 hours and had 1 glass of wine each.