I'm sorry for what you're going through. I have a childhood friend who started out as a constant daily drinker and now does meth. He hears voices and picked up a robbery charge (which was somehow a felony so I'm assuming it was also considered assault) in a similar scenario. He's been in and out of jail and still hears voices after months of being sober but says they're less noticeable with the right mix of meds.
He also says it's a constant battle within himself between believing his delusions and understanding it could be caused by the addiction. And that he's less concerned with stopping than he is with figuring out how and why this is happening to him. I don't know what to say other than I think all of us have had to reach a point where we stop trying to rationalize our way out of it and just start putting one foot in front of the other in sobriety. It can take many months for the mind and body to return to some semblance of normal. Sometimes "figuring out" the rest needs to be put on hold as we heal. All we can do is put in the work, make the temporary sacrifices, and trust the process..
I hope you will give long term sobriety a chance and keep reaching out for help when you need it.