I am going to be 41 in a few months. I have one kid with my XAH and I was not ready to call my family complete. I am a single mom since I left him last year, and I am pregnant with #2 who I will also raise as a single parent. I am sure it will be a-ok because I did everything while stepping over him (figuratively and literally) while also dealing with his outsized demands on me the whole time my first was little, and now I have a quiet home without that misery.

You don’t have forever and maybe what you see as a good family structure means it won’t work for you, but it isn’t too late to be a mom if you really want it. All it takes is sperm and that is not so hard to come by. For me I had to dig deep about why I wanted a second and make sure I still felt that way now that I am alone. I still want it and made it happen. The timing of your relationship with the alcoholic may make it different or harder but it doesn’t mean it can’t now be done.