Don't use, Jules. You know it will only make things WORSE.
Grab your BB or Basic Text and read, call someone in recovery, take a hot bath, go for a walk... do whatever it takes to get through the next 5 minutes, the next hour and so on.
There is a meeting here starting in a little over an hour. Hang out, read some posts and then join us? (You have to register for chat beforehand.) Give it a try.
Hugs,
phinny