Congrats on your 4 months sober time, Loopylou.
For me, life has involved a good deal of pain, but that was especially the case during early sobriety.
I'm glad you have found the strength to vocalize the pain and ask for help.
I did what Ironpigs mentions above - namely, going to AA, where I learned to work on my personality traits and issues.
That work has included making amends as needed.
I have seen the hardest of hearts melt with forgiveness when someone sees that we are staying sober and changing our lives.
I had to just do it, without calling attention to myself or looking for overt approval, and let people see what I was doing.
In my case, my loved ones heard what I said, but they learned to trust what they saw.
I credit asking God for help and getting it through AA to helping me get sober and stay sober over the course of the last few 24 hours, so to speak.
We're very happy you're here with us.