LoopyLou - I understand what you are going through. I hurt people deeply while I was drinking. I almost lost forever a relationship that is very very important to me because of my behavior and lies. He didn't trust me, and told me he might never trust me again. It hurt. But I figured out that I could not set a timeline for him, and that there was literally NO CHANCE he'd ever trust me again if I kept drinking and giving him reasons not to. I didn't get sober for him, I did it for myself, but the hope that he'd eventually trust me again was a huge motivator on the rough days early on. It took a long time. I had to wonder for months if it would ever get better. I cried A LOT. But I persevered, because I could feel life turning around for me, even when it was hard. I was going to outpatient treatment and AA, and seeing others succeed in long-term sobriety was really an inspiration to me. I finally got to a point where I accepted that I may never regain the trust of some people in my life. But I trusted MYSELF again, and that was huge. I knew I'd be ok, even if some of my relationships weren't. And you know what? He trusts me again. He's once again my very best friend, ever. So it can and does happen.