There’s no better time to start over then! This can be a completely different thread for you.
I hope you find recovery. I hope you start today. Just pick one thing to do for yourself. An online meeting, call a person from aa, just one thing.
That can be the start of a sober life. I stopped drinking more times than I can count. But I got sober after I decided to stop saying no to things. I picked a thing to do, regardless of my comfort level, and did it. That empowered me to do the next right thing. And the next.
You can do this, but you have to step out of your box. Do things you don’t want to do. It’s not easy, but it works.