Originally Posted by
Katerina1072 
His ex-wife did this in the past, and he admitted it resulted in drastic measures. He would steal everything in the house to sell, her jewelry, her credit cards, you name it. Sometimes the only reason I suspect he has not done those things to me is because I have been an enabler. But he knows I will not tolerate that kind of BS. He may have done a lot over these years but stealing isn't something I could ever permit. I'd have him out of the house without a cent that day, and that's a promise I know I will never back down from.
You are not an idiot, you are just new to this. Because of my bad decisions, I am not new to this. I thought I would say that before commenting as I tend to be rather terse these days because of lack of time.
My exAH knew that I would not tolerate stealing (who would?) and I also inadvertently (because of ignorance) enabled him. BUT despite the fact that I gave so much to him, my life revolved around him, it was never enough. He found a way to hack my bank accounts and empty out our joint retirement savings without me knowing. I wondered why my accounts were down to zero so often. Each time the entire sum would disappear and I would have literally zero in the account. I had the bank investigate it. They said that I had used my bank card to withdraw the money or someone had access to my card number. I NEVER suspected my then-AH. By the time I did, it was too late for me in many, many ways. I had become pretty much destitute, had terrible mental and physical health, and was living with a very dishonest, dangerous person who knew how to break into the house even if he did not have keys.
So I don't know the addict in your life. But I will say this: never in a million years did I think exAH would ever do the things he did (not stealing, not lying, nothing like that). But I always had doubts about his maturity. When I allowed my exAH to determine the continuation of our engagement, it was because I didn't love myself enough to think I had other options.
ALWAYS look at the way a person treated their ex. The story of their past can tell you a lot about the story of your future with them if you decide to have one. Unless you do a lot of work on yourself, you are doomed to repeat things until you learn (this is true for addicts as much as it is for codependents).
Edit: Just read that he broke up with you. I'm sorry. It's not because of you, honestly. He's in no position to be in a relationship.