Last week I hurt a muscle deep in my back. It was hard to sleep for a few days.
In my personal attempts to massage the area I irritated a nerve in my back that caused minor numbness and weakness in my right arm. I can still lift heavy weights, but my arm feels funny and my grip from certain angles was weakened.
Note to self...never use the side of a wooden chair to do a deep tissue massage again. I am so stupid.
As everything heals nicely, thank God, my AV jumps up and says....see you are falling apart anyway...why not just go back to being big fat drunk.
It was very convincing for about 1 minute. I suffered through that crazy thought. The temptation was magnafied because my shouldler was aching a little at the time.
Trust me when I say it is getting better and better.
Anyway....
I confidently drove home after a late night show, I thought about the progress I had made in the last 4 years.
When i quit drinking, 4 years ago, I was afraid to drive on the freeway for several months. I had agoraphobia. I didn't see a Dr. about it because I would have been given anti psycho meds. I wanted to try to clean up on my own.
I hung in there and got better and better. I used exercise and sr as my main therapy.
Now I am a non drinker with a clean bill of health. I normally sleep so deeply now. It is one of the best rewards of being a non drinker. The sleep is so pure.
These days....My world sits before me and I attack each day with all of my vigor. Yesterday I took a nice 1 hour nap. It was glorious. But, I also made an amazing breakfast for my family, watched my son play baseball, caught up on laundry, and practiced with some software on my cool computer.
There are some changes coming in my career field and I may,make a move for the last few years that could either cause early retirement or a significant pay bump.
Anyway...
I stay clean by any means necessary. I have been on this site for about 4 years and have never seen a single mention of someone that was glad they started drinking again.
Booze is poison. I don't believe the hype anymore.
Thanks.