Originally Posted by
Katerina1072 
Just an update, I broke down and called him earlier. I was so angry as I sat here alone that I had to. I found myself yelling at him for the first time since he's left. I was in tears asking "how could you do this to me?! you threw me away like a piece of trash!" ...of course all he could say was "I'm sorry". I wished it helped but that's all he's ever said...sorry, sorry, sorry.
I know I'm looking for answers I will never get and it just kills me. I'm praying tomorrow will bring me more strength.
You WILL make it through this. I, too, am going through a similar situation and I completely understand your anger, your sadness, your unanswered questions, the confusion, the resentment... it’s all perfectly normal. Eventually, you’ll start to see good days creeping in between the bad ones.. and I’m sure eventually, the more you stay away from him, the more you’ll start to smile and see those good days more often. Please remember to be kind to yourself. This is a tough road for all of us - loving and leaving and addict. It’s insanely tough. Keep your head up, get into therapy, ride the wave of emotions - it will get easier and life will go on without him.
Much love..