LoopyLou69, I have nearly 300 days so I'm not that much further down the road than you and I just posted something similar. I get depressed when I reach milestones like 3, 6, 9 months, because I reflect back on all the damage I created and time and memories lost. Guess what, what you're going through is normal for where you are. You're okay. These are your emotions poking through years of being numbed. I tried to stop drinking several times on my own. I knew I lacked the will power, but I kept trying. I distinctly remember having a conversation with my teenage daughter telling her I was trying to quit and her saying the words "empty promises again". I finally I walked into an AA meeting not knowing what to expect and low and behold, the clouds parted and I discovered that I was not alone in this disease. Since then my recovery has progressed and now my relationship with both my daughters is so much better. The love and hugs I receive are accompanied with words of how proud they are of me. Its funny, I walked into the rooms of AA for my kids and discovered the only way I could help them was to help myself first, then everything else would fall in line and it has. Please know the emotions your feeling are completely normal. They may feel overwhelming at times, but try not to feel overwhelmed. Check out my post on Chip Depression and read the great advice others gave me. We are in the same boat.
