The funny thing about the self loathing, it's not there (at least not on the surface, maybe in my subconscious) when I'm sober. When I'm in withdrawals, it's all I can think of. Which is where I think a psychologist would come in handy here. Get on down to the deeper reason. Being alone on a Saturday night shouldn't be cause to throw away how great I feel and productive I'd been. Not to mention earning a paycheck to pay the mortgage lol
At the same time, I'm also feeling very fortunate that my boss doesn't care. My talents at work are worth it for him to have me out a little bit and he just wants to see me get better, so he's really working with me on this.