Old 05-09-2019, 07:16 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Troubledone
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 471
Family always worries. They see a potential for you to be hurt and, of course, are concerned. This might be true if, instead of addiction, the person you were dating had a chronic disease, children from a previous relationship, or any other circumstance that family worries about.

And, you are 22 and he is 29. In your family's place, I'd be concerned that he is just now getting sober at mid life while you are quite young. There is a bit of a red flag there.

One of the hardest things is that any time a person chooses to be with someone, family has a right to set boundaries that feel right to them. If your boyfriend is sincere and continues to work on his recovery, in time your family may come to trust him.

The reality is that you'll have to deal with your family's concerns over time and he will have to prove worthy of their trust. Addiction breaks trust and rebuilding trust takes a lot more effort than earning it from the start. And, one relapse will send him back to square one.

Maybe instead of wanting everyone to accept him now and be happy, ask people what it would take for them to trust him. Often people will give you a straight answer to a straight question.

Good Luck - I hope he stays in recovery.
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