You love the idea of him. They can be very charming and kind and persuasive. You are only in your early 20s, honestly, I would cut all ties and be done with him. You have a long distance relationship, it is the perfect set up for him. He can do what he wants when you are not around and be at his best behavior when is he with you, but at some point he won’t be able to that either once the addiction progresses and it will unless he seeks treatment. He knows what you want to hear about his drinking and his intention of quitting. We have all heard it before, several times more than likely. Relationships should not be this much trouble if you are considering a long term commitment. Sure relationships are hard and not always easy sailing but should it really be that much work and pain at this point in your life? You have no commitments with him, no kids no property. Getting sober is so much more than just quitting drinking. People that just quit and don’t get help usually don’t succeed long term. Even if today he decided to take things serious and really seek recovery, he would really need to focus all his energy in his recovery. It is also very possible that after recovery he isn’t really the same person he was when you met him. It takes a good year of recovery to see if it really “takes” and if he really changes and even then there are no guarantees. Can people change? Yes they can but it takes a lot of work and therapy and meeting and insight. My ex is 2.5 years clean but is is a different person. He is not a bad person at all but too much damage was done during our marriage and we divorced 2 years after he got clean. He did change a lot for the better as far as behaviors etc but it took 3 months of rehab, lots of meeting and therapy and a lot of a dedication to recovery. We all tend to think we can help our SO with the addiction and recovery and be their support but we can’t. If love could heal addicts we would not be here. Also he cheated on you and told,you a bunch of lies. That’s not really a great base for a long term relationship. I probably tell him good luck with his recovery and you wish him the best and be on your merry way. Long distance relationships are hard enough as it is without the alcohol and lies. You should be enjoying your twenties and not have to deal with an addicted partner.
Anyone can talk the talk but actions speak louder than words. Alcoholics are masters at telling you what you want to hear.