Callas

I have been a hard drinker all my adult life. I have been a full blown alcoholic for at least the last three years if not longer.

During this time I have been drunk at parties, social events, gatherings, sporting events, the golf club, concerts...oh just about everywhere. Despite this my friends have not once spoken to me about my obvious problem with alcohol. For reasons that I will never quite understand they stuck with me, continued to include me in everything, lived with the embarassement I obviously caused and accepted me as is.

I suspect some on this forum will consider them to be enablers. I do not see it like that. They knew that speaking to me would be pointless. They knew that doing so would cause alienation and I would simply continue on my path of self-destruction.

The descision to quit was entirely my own. It was not caused by social embarrassement, legal problems or work related issues. I simply could not live any longer with the withdrawal which developed in the last few months of my drinking. The time between 6h00 and 17h00 daily when I could have my first drink again was becoming a living hell.

I did not discuss my descission to stop for good with anyone, not even my brother who I share everything with. I went to my GP and played open cards with her. I embarked on a medically supervised detox with success.

Once I have made my descision I told all my friends the full story including the withdrawals, anxiety etc which I kept mostly a secret. Their reaction was more telling than any admonishment, intervention or “sermon” would have been during my drinking days. Without exception they supported and encouraged me. Not one, not even the hard drinkers and probable alcoholics themselves suggested that my problem was “not that bad” or that I should have “just one drink”. This confirmed to me just how bad my problem really was. Their support now is just amazing.

I have slowly started to socialise again. Small groups, short periods. It is visible how much more my friends enjoy being with the sober me. This is so telling.

I am now sharing my road to recovery with friends of friends and acquaintances too. I get no judgement but just interest and support. It is significant what a bit of honesty can do.

I believe that taking my friends on this journey with me will make my resolve stronger. I do not want to let myself down (again). I do not want to disappoint them.

I am eternally grateful for their support. I do not deserve it but I accept it with gratitude and humility. My aim is to keep it, one day at a time.