He just left. I'm a wreck. Things were civil, he calmly said he understood. No emotion at all, and I know that's the drugs but it still kills me. I think he honestly believes that there's still a chance, and I guess the only thing to let him see how much he's hurt me will be when that time never comes. I don't pretend to know what the Lord has in store, who knows. Maybe a decade from now if he's clean and we cross paths....all I know is I cannot deal with this pain he's causing any longer. I may always have hope, but I know in time my mind won't be as weak as it is right now, and my heart won't hurt so badly.