I hope you get through these bumps in the road biminiblue. Maybe a part time job would be helpful if you could find one. I don't just mean for the money either.
Congratulations on 4 months Forwards.
I think King Crimson are playing in London about now - I saw some ads on the escalators at my Tube station.
I was reading a bit about a US actor named Dana Andrews who's heyday was the late 1940's. He never became a really big star likely because of his alcoholism but he was one of the first, probably the first Hollywood actor to publically acknowledge his alcoholism rather than the spin of being a drinker or "hellraiser" type as was commonplace at that time. He did his bit in moving the dial in getting alcoholism talked about in a grown up way. He made it too, didn't drink after 1967/8 and died in 1992 in his mid 80s.