Originally Posted by
Piperdream 
“You are absolutely right. All I do is try to keep him happy so that he treats me well. I made the list by the way.. with each point I wanted to add “,but...” so I obviously am trying to justify every horrible thing that he is or does... honestly there is something wrong with me.”
I was there until a few weeks ago. But what kind of life is it that you’re living your life for someone who can change at the drop of a hat. What kind of life do you want that you’re saying, essentially, you’re constantly walking on eggshells so that you don’t p*ss him off!?
Many “high functioning” As, like my AH can be super charming and really do well in other aspects of life. My AH is nice and wonderful at times especially with acquaintances and friends who are not close, and horrible at others. I was constantly fearful of saying or doing the “wrong” thing. I hope you can liberate yourself from that terrible burden.
this is exactly it. In my sick head I just still think that the good things about him outweight the drinking and that it's the good things that make him who REALLY is!
But I guess it's because I don't really know him or understand what his drinking would mean for me. As i said in the beginning I have never had any dealing with an alcoholic before..
My mother was always very submissive to my father and she would do anything to please him, not that he would appreciate it,, everything revolved around him and he was the most important person in the house. I wonder if that has anything to do with fact that I have gotten into this whole mess in the first place and can't seem to be able to get out