Hello, thegrasshopper.
Reading your post gave me cold chills. I was in a relationship with a man identical to him for five years and it almost killed me. When I would see his number on the caller ID, I'd start trembling in fear. I went to a couple of psychiatrists, Al-Anon, therapists, church, anything, to make the obsession go away. What I did learn in Al-Anon was I was as obsessed with him as he was a drink. I'd tell myself I was not going to contact him, I would contact him only as a friend. I had a complete nervous breakdown and ended up addicted to prescription pills. The doctors had me on so much medication I would go into blackouts and disappear for weeks at a time.
I can't even talk about this anymore. I have post-traumatic stress from the whole ordeal. The only "advice" I would give you is run like hell.